A star returns

I was watching an episode of Castle the other day (I do love Nathan Fillion) when I recognised one of the supporting cast members:

Does the woman look familiar?

Yep, Carla Espinosa from Scrubs

Judy’s character disappeared along with the show once it came to and end after its 8th series and did not appear in the “9th series” spin-off. She was pregnant with her first child and so couldn’t reprise her role as Carla. Good job too, because that show was terrible without the whole original cast reprising their roles. Thank God it got cancelled after 13 episodes, in fact I’m surprised it managed to get that many.

Anyway, it’s good to see such a talented actress back on our screens. Even if it is just a crazy yet easily forgettable character in an otherwise average crime drama.

“You Can’t Hate George Lucas Anymore”

Yes I can. I’ve hated him ever since he released Attack Of The Clones back in 2002. Not a single thing that he’s done after that has changed my mind and nothing ever will.

But wait! He’s giving half of his money to charity! Now we must worship him again!

That’s right, half of his money, to The Giving Pledge charity owned by Bill Gates and Warren Buffett (whoever he is). I don’t know how much money that would be, but I bet it’s a lot.

This still doesn’t change the fact that he’s disappointed me and countless other Star Wars fans since 2002. Some might even say 1999. But I digress.

Megan Fox marries Derek Reese / Transformers 3 casting

Okay, by “Derek Reese” I actually mean Brian Austin Green who played Derek Reese in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (R.I.P). But seriously, wtf? He should be helping John Connor fight the Machines, not gallivanting with a talentless, mercurial whore monger.

This marriage is doomed just like Jonah Hex’s first few weeks of box office ratings and the future box office ratings for Transformers 3 – Rosie Huntington-Whiteley (whoever the fuck she is) is playing the same role Megan Fox did, not a entirely new one.

Nice going Michael Bay. You’ve replaced an orange, fish-lipped banshee with a tangerine, big-nosed harlot. That’s good consistency that is.

England kicked out of the World Cup – Football sucks

I’ve been holding off on any World Cup related posts, until now. Germany just beat England 4-1 and I am overjoyed. Not because Germany won, but because England lost. Because that means that people will stop talking to me about the World Cup, asking me whether or not I think England will win, what I think about a particular player, blah, blah, blah. I’ve never seen a more boring sport. A bunch of sissy nancy-boys kicking a ball full of air round a field whilst faking injuries and waving to fans playing those God-awful vuvuzelas? Those things sound like seals having it off on crack and the players look like orangutans pumped up with enough testosterone to power Arnold Schwarzenegger’s left arse cheek.
Why can’t England be obsessed with a more intellectual sport? Football lacks the grace of Basketball, the poetry of Baseball, the adrenaline of Tennis, pretty much every sport is better. Except Squash, people that play that should be stoned. It helps, that’s all I’m saying.

At least now I’ll be able to live my life in peace without constantly being haggled about the England Football team. All the chumps that flew to South Africa must feel like right idiots. They flew to South Africa when they no doubt have a perfectly good TV at home, they have the England flag painted on their faces, a vuvuzela in one hand, an England flag in the other, and now they all have to come home. It fills me with joy!

Driver: San Francisco

Here’s a blast from the past – remember Driver? Well, Reflections (now owned by Ubisoft) have announced that the legendary driving franchise shall return later this year on PC, PS3, Xbox 360, Mac and possibly the Wii at this year’s E3.

I’ve been waiting for this game for just over 4 years and judging from this trailer, it’s going to be a hoot.

But there’s more – gameplay!

From that video, it’s obvious that Driver is officially back. And by Driver I mean the two original PS1 titles, not the God-awful PS2 titles (GTA clones, which is ironic as GTA wouldn’t exist if it weren’t were Driver). I’m not sure about the whole “Tanner-being-in-a-coma-and-having-supernatural-powers-that-allow-him-to-teleport-to-different-vehicles” thing. To be honest I think it’s shit and belongs to Science Fiction version of Pursuit Force, not Driver. But hey, San Francisco is practically a reboot of the franchise so I guess it needs something new and interesting. Lets just hope it doesn’t turn out as shit as it looks/sounds.

So no more GTA knock-offs. San Francisco will take the franchise back to its routes. Which if you ask me, has been a long time coming.

The inevitable E3 post

Okay, I was trying desperately not to mention E3. But I have to. Mainly – PlayStation Move and Project Natal, no known as “Kinect”.

We’ll start off with Kinect:

Not only can Microsoft not spell, but they’re basically designing a bastardisation of the Nintendo Wii. The advert is even filmed exactly the same way.

However, Sony aren’t much better. In fact, they’re even worse (for once). Now I’ve already made my opinion of PlayStation Move abundantly clear, so I shall comment on a recent hands-on preview from IGN with SOCOM 4:

Either the controls suck or Greg Miller isn’t that good (I’m hoping it’s the latter). This game doesn’t look very engaging Move-wise. It seems that you just stand there and wave the controllers around like you do on the Wii. SOCOM 4 appears to be nothing more than a 3D rail shooter and Sony should be ashamed of themselves. Although I suppose it is something that they tried to incorporate their motion controls into a proper game, not some juvenile, incorrigible reject from Nintendo’s drawing boards.

See, I’m not always bashing the 360. (grow up)

Thank God Microsoft ditched that ridiculous name though. (okay, so I’m a hypocrite! Flame me!)

SlipKnoT’s bassist, Paul Gray, dies at 38.

Paul Gray, bassist for heavy metal band SlipKnoT, was found dead at the Town Plaza Hotel in Urbandale, Iowa yesterday morning. The coroner did not clarify how he was found or what was in the room. My money’s on drug paraphernalia.
An autopsy was held today. “No cause of death” was established – full report HERE.

I still haven’t come to terms with this fact. I think it’ll be a while until I do.

It’s been a sad couple of months for metal fans. The drummer of Avenged Sevenfold, James “The Rev” Sullivan, died from “natural causes” back in December 2009 and singer Ronnie James Dio from Black Sabbath died from stomach cancer just 9 days ago.

My condolences go out to the families and friends of all those who have passed away, and I hope that the bands they’ve left behind will continue to create great material in their honour.

No Megan Fox in Transformers 3

It was recently announced that Megan Fox will not be in next Transformers film. You can probably imagine how far over the moon I was when I heard this. Maybe now we can have a decent Transformers film without the camera constantly focusing on that loathsome, vexatious prostitute and actually on some Transformers for a change.

At first I was overjoyed, then I was in hysterics when I found out why she wasn’t going to be in it – Michael Bay thinks she’s too skinny and she refuses to put on weight. Now I’ve never met Megan Fox (thank fuck), so I wouldn’t know, but if she was too skinny then surely she would put on some weight if she wanted to be in the next film. Right? Or she is just a stroppy, argumentative, shit stirring doll? Ah yes, she is. Remember when she compared Michael Bay to Adolf Hitler? And don’t forget what the crew of Revenge Of The Fallen had to say about her.

Come on Michael Bay, you don’t need morbidly inexperienced actors to make a good film. You may as well not even bother replacing her, Transformers 3 would stand up on its own two feet without her.

Pac-Man 30 years old tomorrow

That’s right. The little yellow drug addict is 30 years old tomorrow. And to celebrate this joyous occasion, Google has made a playable Pac-Man version of their logo on their front page.

30 years ago, Pac-Man, Blinky, Pinky, Inky & Clyde hit Japan and took the country by storm. He then travelled the rest of the world bring joy to our hearts and minds
I’ve always had a strong relation to Pac-Man, what with the word ghost being in my name. My avatar for pretty much every site I use (including this one) is a Pac-Man ghost.

So thank you, Pac-Man. May you gobble pills for another 30 years. And then some.

The Eyjafjallajökull volcano

Yes, it’s been a while since I posted anything. I’ve just been busy with the family, friends, college and ordering cheap Blu-Rays off Amazon.

For those who don’t have much knowledge of Icelandic volcanoes, Eyjafjallajökull is the one that erupted on April 15th, billowed mounds of ash across Europe and cancelled all flights in and out of Britain. So no, I did not just make it up. Millions (I think) of people were left stranded, most of them still are in fact.

Now I’ll agree, it must have been rather annoying for those left stranded and for their loved ones back home. But must they constantly moan about it? I mean, they’re all getting a longer holiday for Christ’s sake! But oh, wait, the British hate living abroad. So forget that. But my point is this – stop whining, you’re on holiday. Enjoy your extra time there. One of my friends was stuck in Lanzarote for 3 days, but did they complain? Not in the slightest. They’re back home now, and guess what means of transport they used? A plane. So it can’t be all that bad.

Analysts have predicted that the cancellation of flights will cost the airports so much that they could end up bankrupt and the entire country could in fact slip back into recession.

There is some good that came out of this, however – The hotel & restaurant industry is now doing better than ever what with all the tourists stuck there, John Cleese made a very generous donation to the taxicab industry by paying $5,100 for a taxi from Oslo to Brussels, school teachers weren’t able to attend classes so some schools were closed and Jonathan Ross spoke with Gwyneth Paltrow, Robert Downey Jr. and Demi Moore via satellite; a first for his chat show.