Resident Evil: Afterlife

I loved the first film. It was subtle, dark, claustrophobic, suspenseful and really well made considering the somewhat limited budget. The second film was also really good, branching out into more open environments with a cold-blue look to it. However, the franchise took a blow to the kneecaps with the third film. It didn’t really feel like a Resident Evil film, just your generic zombie film full of clichés. And Alice turned into a Jedi, what the Hell was that all about?

But here we are with the release of the fourth instalment, Afterlife. It’s action-packed, it’s over the top and it’s completely in your face.

Watch out, boys.

First off, as Ray_squared stated in his blog post, the film starts out slow. But not for the first 5-10 minutes. More like the first 2 minutes. There’s actually a very fun action scene around the 3 minute mark that introduces the film perfectly. And starting a film slowly isn’t always necessarily a bad thing. Especially if it’s the fourth part of a franchise. The audience is already familiar with the premise and consequently doesn’t want to see things getting blown up within the first 30 seconds. Unless they’re fucked in the head.

The main cast consists of Milla Jovovich as Alice and 3 characters from the video games – Ali Larter as Claire Redfield, Wentworth Miller as Chris Redfield and Shawn Roberts as Albert Wesker.

Alice don’t need to flashlight… *desperately tries to think of a Chuck Norris inspired “fact” and fails miserably*

Jovovich does a great job as Alice, as usual. All the Jovovich trademarks are there: the gravely voice, the inviting eyes and the sheer amount of badassery as she subdues her foes with ease. Larter also does a fine job as Claire Redfield, but furthermore gets to do a lot more stunts than she did in the third film. And they really pay off.

This. Scene. Is. Awesome.

Finally, Roberts is a fantastic Albert Wesker. Jason O’Mara was great in the third film, but he didn’t really do a lot. Roberts however has a very big fight scene with Claire and Chris Redfield that completely took my breath away, especially with it being in 3D. As Ray_squared mentioned several times, this fight scene is the best scene in the film.

There are several Matrix-esque shots in RE: Afterlife.

One of my only problems with the film is contained rather neatly within one man – Wentworth Miller. He’s a good actor, but I just can’t see him as Chris Redfield. He doesn’t look that much like him, his hairstyle’s all wrong, his head is bigger than his biceps when it should be the other way around and he’s barely in the film apart from the Wesker fight scene. This is just my opinion and I’m sure some people will love him as Chris Redfield, but he just doesn’t do it for me.

According to Ray_squared, the supporting cast are there merely to fill up space. And in a way, he’s right. But one or two of them do have an extra layer of depth than the others. One of them is even slightly significant to the plot. But only slightly. So don’t expect to see that many of them in the next film, just expect to see the majority of them get killed one by one by flesh-eating zombies. Yum.

“Tell me, Mr. Anderson – er, I mean, Redfield…”

I was shocked when I read Ray_squared’s blog post to learn that there were barely any zombies in the film. And now that I have seen it, I can honestly say that he was more or less right. There’s one scene where Alice owns a couple of them and a fight scene between Alice/Claire and The Executioner from Resident Evil 5, but that’s basically it. Although, both of these scenes look amazing in 3D. So it’s not all bad.

The film didn’t feel short to me, in fact it felt like the perfect length; exactly the same as all the other films give or take a few minutes. The pacing was good, the action scenes were fantastic, the acting was solid and the 3D was the best I have ever seen. But my other problem is the ending. It’s somewhat… erm, abrupt. I was sitting there thinking, “Please don’t end, please don’t end, please don’t end, please don’t end…”. And then it did. On one of the biggest cliffhangers imaginable.

This thing got quite an applause when it lumbered onscreen.

There’s a few inconsistencies to be found, e.g. where did The Executioner and the Las Plagas infected come from when they weren’t even mentioned in the other three films?, what are the chances that Claire and Chris Redfield find each other in the middle of a zombie apocalypse at the exact same time?, why was Wesker defeated so easily?, etc. But overall the film was brilliant. Paul W.S. Anderson has not disappointed and assembled a well written, produced, directed, performed, edited, even marketed addition to the Resident Evil franchise. Even if it is a little silly, OTT and in your face.

PS. Wait until after the cast list at the end for a small cameo and a hint of a sequel.

Toy Story 3

I won’t bore you with a full length review, there’s plenty of adequate ones scattered around the Internet. So I’ll give you just one word that describes Toy Story 3. And that word is flawless.

Okay, I’ll elaborate on that a bit more. It’s been 11 years since Toy Story 2. I was 7 then, and I was in love with Toy Story. They were my favourite films of all time. But I soon grew out of them because Pixar, rather stupidly, decided not to pursue a 3rd film. Instead they chose to make lame, boring, claptrap and call them “films”.

But now, all I can say is this – Toy Story is back. Everyone and everything you loved from the first 2 films, a good story, great new characters and a phenomenal achievement in animation is now back on the big screen. Plus it makes you bawl your eyes out, which should be Pixar film standard if you ask me. And Toy Story 3 certainly delivers.

Go see it. Go see it now. Don’t even hesitate. Watch it in 3D as well if you can, it makes it just that little bit better.

The “A Nightmare On Elm Street” remake is horrifically funny

I was dragged along to see this remake the other day with two of my friends, who I hadn’t seen for a while so I couldn’t really say no, and I was already dreading it before it had even begun. Namely because the words “Michael” and “Bay” had appeared on the screen. He wasn’t the director, thank God, but I was assuming he’d be just as bad as a producer. Luckily, this rant is not about Michael Bay. This rant is about how hilarious this remake is.

The film started off well with some clever transitions between a character’s dreams and the reality around him. Then I saw Freddy Krueger’s face – he looks like a burn victim, which I do not remember from the original film. Although it turned out that he was a burn victim after some angry parents had set fire to him for abusing their children at a local primary school (again, not in the original), it didn’t change the fact that he looked ridiculous.
Not only did he look ridiculous, but his mannerisms were absurd and somewhat comical.

*SPOILERS*
For example, he kills a dog that belongs to one of the characters. When they discover the dog’s body with Freddy standing over it, his finger blades dripping with blood, Freddy says in a very deep and raspy voice, “I was just petting him.” Later on in the film, Freddy is chasing one of the characters down a narrow corridor which for some reason has its floor transformed into a thick, gooey pool of blood. As they struggle to stay above the surface Freddy says, “How’s this for a wet dream?” By this stage, I was giggling like a schoolgirl on acid.

Not only is Freddy amusing, the constant jump-scenes are cheesy and predictable, the blood is far too over the top and the scenes that are taken from the original are damn near identical. For example; the scene where Freddy sends a helpless girl flying through the air before brutally butchering her on her bed, is clearly done using wires. Watching her bounce of the walls felt like watching Son Of The Mask or Flubber.
Then there’s a scene where one of the characters finds a blog with webcam recordings of someone who is also haunted by Freddy talking about his dreams, when he suddenly falls asleep, lunges forwards and smashes the camera. I literally jumped out of my seat with laughter. I was expecting to see his throat get cut or his head explode, but instead I got a cheap jump-scene that didn’t make sense once it was over – how was the recording uploaded to his blog if he broke the camera and was killed?
*END OF SPOILERS*

Personally I think Samuel Bayer, the director, should stick to the music video industry. This remake doesn’t really provide much hope for him as a film director as it doesn’t give the original any justice. And the writers, Wesley Strick and Eric Heisserer, should be ashamed of themselves. Because I’m sure Wes Craven, the creator of the original franchise, is.

Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell: Conviction review – 6.5/10

Like my Heavy Rain review, I’m not sure that this is completely finished as there is quite a lot to cover. Anyway, here’s my (hopefully) final draft.

Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell: Conviction– PC & Xbox 360.
Rating – 17+, M.

At last another chance to play as the legendary Sam Fisher as he embarks on another challenging and exciting mission. But does this mission live up to the hype and the Splinter Cell franchise’s standards? In short: For die-hard fans, no. For everyone else: Yes. Sort of.
I won’t bother getting into what the franchise is about as it’s been around for many years, so I’m sure most gamers are aware of it. I’ll just jump right into Conviction.

Conviction portrays Sam in a slightly different light from previous titles. He’s no longer working for Third Echelon; the sub-division within the NSA, and is tracking down the killer of his daughter Sarah who allegedly died from a drunk driving accident at the beginning of Double Agent. However, he also encounters a huge terrorist threat to the US and must work with some old colleagues, including the infamous Anna Grímsdóttir. So if you thought that Double Agent was a departure from the franchise (as did I), then you’ll be shocked at just how much Conviction throws the entire franchise out the window. They way the story is told reminded me of several episodes of 24. This is both a good and a bad thing. It’s good because the game introduces some new, interesting and well-implemented features and ideas but also takes some of the other things that fans have grown to love over the years away from them.

First, the good stuff – Splinter Cell: Conviction has a totally different art style from any of the previous titles. Instead of using your OPSAT to view objectives, they are now projected onto the environment in big white letters (pictured above). Only Sam can see them so they work well and keep you immersed in the world without removing you by taking you to an objectives menu. Flashbacks and introductions of new characters are also projected onto the environment in movie-form which also work really well.

Another cool feature is the “Last Known Position”. Basically if Sam is spotted and he is able to sneak back into the shadows, a silhouette of where he was once was will appear. This is where the enemy thinks Sam is and they will try to flank it. While they’re doing this, Sam can use it to his advantage and take the enemy out with ease.

Probably the biggest and coolest new feature in Conviction is “Mark & Execute”. Sam can scan a room for enemies and then “mark” them, which places a red arrow above their heads. When he is ready he can “execute” them all by shooting them quickly and simultaneously at the press of a button. Sam looks totally awesome when he does this; kind of like Jack Bauer from (again) 24, and it makes the player feel like a predator. No more hiding in the shadows for uncle Sam. You can also upgrade your weapons so that they can mark more enemies, creating a deeper level of strategy that the franchise hasn’t seen before. However, marking and executing every enemy makes the game pretty easy and the whole feature is pretty much taken right out of Rainbow Six: Vegas; another game developed by Ubisoft Montreal.

As for the upgradeable weapons – they’re pretty pointless. Apart from increasing the number of marks you can use you won’t find yourself rushing to upgrade anything else such as ammo capacity as there’s barely ever too many enemies in a room at once for one clip to take out. Silencers are pretty much useless unless your playing the game in stealth, but why would you need guns for that? And all the pistols have unlimited ammo making all the other guns and grenade-types irrelevant. I mean seriously, does Sam really need proxy mines and an automatic assault rifle?

Those who played the previous titles can expect plenty of sneaking around in the shadows, using enemies as human shields, hanging from pipes, peeking under doors, shooting lights, the works. The game pulls it all off perfectly. In addition, the game switches from colour to black and white whenever Sam is hidden in the shadows. But with the Mark & Execute system, you’ll be tempted to go guns blazing and murder everyone in your path. And with the amount of guns that are on offer, including a new and improved SC30K, that can all be upgraded, Conviction doesn’t always feel like a Splinter Cell game. Or a stealth game for that matter. At times I felt like I was playing Rainbow Six, Ghost Recon or Double Agent again, and that’s not a good thing.

Splinter Cell: Conviction is by no means the prettiest in the franchise. It’s certainly better looking than the first two games, but it simply cannot hold a candle to Chaos Theory or even Double Agent. The character models look good and the lighting can be pretty eye-catching at times. Unfortunately the weapons and environments are a little low-res and the lip-sync is unforgivably bad. Almost as bad as Pandora Tomorrow’s.

Sound-wise however, Conviction is top notch. Explosions, gunshots, shattering glass and music sound magnificent. But where the game really shines is the voice acting. Michael Ironside returns as Sam Fisher and does a great job at it. The original voice of Grímsdóttir, Claudia Besso also reprises her role, and even Don Jordan comes back for a small audio recording of Irving Lambert, Sam’s old boss.

Now for the stuff that simply doesn’t work – opening doors. Yes, it sounds like a simple task. Sam’s never had any trouble with it before. But in Conviction, you need to be looking at a specific spot of a door so that a “open door” prompt appears onscreen. This works for other things too; look at the bottom of a door to display the “peek under door” prompt, a specific spot on a wall to display the “climb wall” prompt, and so on. Those prompts are little too specific for my liking. Whatever happened to the little drop down menu that every Splinter Cell title has had up until now? Why fix what isn’t broken?

I’ve saved the worst ’til last, the AI – it’s dumb. And I mean really, really dumb. When they spot Sam they will immediately alert each other of his presence, attack in groups and attempt to assault his position. That’s all well and good, until they loose sight of him and his position turns into his Last Known Position. They will do everything in their power to empty every clip, lob every grenade and shout every swear word under the sun at this Last Known Position, and when they realise he’s not there they will aimlessly search the same square yard of floor space before giving up. I remember one time after interrogating one of the villains in the game, a bunch of Splinter Cell agents (pictured below) repelled in from the roof to intercept Sam. Not only were they incredibly late, but all I had to do to take them down was remain in the small room I was in, wait for them to rush in one by one and shoot them in the head from around a corner. Talk about unprofessional and moronic. They also appeared to have they’re goggles on wonky.

Splinter Cell: Conviction is one of those games that is good on its surface but once you dig down to its core, it’s just average. Newcomers to the franchise will like what they see and will enjoy the ride, but die-hard fans will no doubt be disappointed with a broken, unfulfilled, basic and fatigued mess.

The Good

• It may be taken straight out of 24, but the storyline is still good and takes the franchise in a different direction.
• Great sound and voice acting, original cast members return with brilliant performances.
• A decent cover system – point where you want Sam to go and press a button, simple.
• When used properly, the Mark & Execute system is brutally effective and deadly.
• Visual effects such as projected text and Last Known Position work well and add a sense of art to the game.

The Bad

• The AI is as thick as pig shit. They also swear far too much (which is fucking rich coming from me).
• Cover system can be clunky and unresponsive.
• Upgrading weapons seems pointless.
• Onscreen prompts make for some tricky manoeuvres such as opening doors or jumping over things.
• Mark & Execute makes the game far too easy and not feel like Splinter Cell at all.
• The DRM that Ubisoft brought out for Conviction and Assassin’s Creed II, while I never had any problems with it as my internet connection is pretty stable, will drive some PC gamers insane. It constantly prevents you from playing the game when the slightest blip in your connection appears.

My Score

6.5/10.

Heavy Rain review – 9.4/10

Not exactly sure that it’s finished, but here it is.

Heavy Rain – PS3.
Rating – 18+, M.

Many games in the past have tried to be like Hollywood movies – Metal Gear Solid, Uncharted and inbetween those two was Fahrenheit (Indigo Prophecy). Now, from Quantic Dream, the makers of Fahrenheit, comes Heavy Rain.

It’s hard to describe what type of game Heavy Rain is. Just ignore what Wikipedia says, it’s not an “interactive drama“. Well, it is actually, but at its core it’s an adventure game. Or to be more precise, a dark film noir crime thriller.

It takes place in a dreary suburban area of America and there’s a serial killer on the loose. He waits until it’s Fall when there’s lots of rain, kidnaps a small boy, slowly drowns them in rain water and then leave their body with an origami figure in one of their hands and an orchid on their chest. He is dubbed “The Origami Killer”. You take on the role of 4 different characters all attempting to track down this vicious maniac. You have Ethan Mars; an architect and family man, Madison Paige; a news journalist suffering from insomnia desperate for and willing to do anything (and I mean anything) to get a decent story, Norman Jayden; an FBI agent shipped over from Washington who is assigned to the Origami Killer case and Scott Shelby; a Private Investigator hired by the families of the Origami Killer’s victims.

The game keeps switching between the four characters with each chapter but the main storyline focuses mostly on Ethan, who is dramatically depressed after the loss of his son Jason. It tears his marriage and remaining family apart leaving him very protective of his other son, Shaun. But not protective enough because several years later, Shaun mysteriously disappears. Ethan is then given a box full of origami figures from the killer, each containing an address to which he must go to and complete a series of trials to prove his love for Shaun. Throughout the course of the story he encounters the three other characters as they all travel down their separate paths in the plot. It reminded me of several Quentin Tarantino movies, the good ones anyway.

The gameplay in Heavy Rain is somewhat confusing. When the game was announced, at first glance it appeared to be just mere Quick Time Events. But that actually isn’t the case. QTEs are supposed to result in the player dying instantly if the correct button is not pressed. But in Heavy Rain, if a button is missed the game keeps going giving you a chance to redeem yourself with the next button press and also changes the circumstances. For example: You knock on somebody’s door hoping to question them about the recent killings only to have them slam the door in your face. Before this happens a button prompt appears on the screen. If you press it, you will grab the door and ask them to reconsider their objection. If you miss it, the door is shut and you have to knock again. Now that doesn’t sound like much of life changing decision, does it? Not to worry, you will have to make some much bigger and more vital decisions further down the line, sometimes deciding whether a character lives or dies. So don’t listen to whoever says it has no depth and is just a bunch of QTEs because they’re wrong. It’s actually a very engaging way of storytelling, leaving the player not always knowing what’s going to happen depending on which choice they make. Sometimes they’re forced to make choices they don’t want to make, which is far more stimulating that most other story-driven titles. The QTEs aren’t just face buttons either, you get to use the L&R buttons and the right analogue stick too, making for some pretty complex button combinations whilst moving the analogue stick in a certain direction at the same time.

Heavy Rain has to be one of the most beautiful games on the PS3 to date. Quantic Dream didn’t really put graphics down as a number one priority during development, but that didn’t stop them from stretching the PS3′s remaining processing power to its limits to deliver an incredibly good looking game. Each character’s face, eyes and lip sync is spot on and animated gloriously with some of the best motion capturing I have ever seen. The world is a dark, dismal and bleak setting which works brilliantly with the constant rainfall. Which is where Heavy Rain really shines, obviously. The rain surpasses Uncharted 2′s water effects, that’s how good it is. It falls from the sky and hits the ground realistically, creates ripples and puddles, drips down objects and people’s faces and makes everything it touches glisten. It also acts as a form of somewhat dramatic irony, as well as an awesome vista to behold and completes an amazingly atmospheric world.

Okay, the bad stuff. Yes, even Heavy Rain has its shortcomings.
First off, I mentioned just now that graphics weren’t Quantic Dream’s number one priority. Well let me elaborate on that a tad. While the characters and the rain look fantastic, there are a quite a lot of textures in the world that are pretty low-res. Mostly objects that the characters interact with, making several of the cut-scenes a bit disappointing to look it. There’s also some occasional dodgy animations, especially while manually controlling a character. As motion capture was not used for these sections they often end up looking like Batman in Batman: Arkham Asylum – robotic, walking in a straight line with their arms down by their sides. Parts of the storyline aren’t particularly well written, causing some (minor) plot holes. But nothing too distracting.

Heavy Rain isn’t just a game, it’s a game that is so close to being a movie it might as well be a movie. It looks and sounds great, the characters are brilliant and relatable, the story is enthralling and it plays with your emotions; good and bad. It’s a complete experience that you could only get from a movie, but in game form. Which is quite a remarkable achievement.
Despite it’s problems, Heavy Rain is the best PS3 game to come out this year so far and is essentially a great sequel to Fahrenheit. Fans of Fahrenheit will love it and players who aren’t fans of Fahrenheit will still love it for it’s unique style of storytelling and immersion.

The Good

• Each character looks fantastic. Some of the best facial recognition technology was used here and it really pays off.
• The rain… it’s so… beautiful…
• A great story that not only excites you, but also upsets and angers you which is extremely rare when it comes to video games.
• A killer soundtrack complete with eerie, orchestral and downright terrifying music.
• A complex difficulty setting system that makes the game suitable for hardcore gamers, casual gamers and people that are new to gaming.

The Bad

• The story takes a while to get going, spending a good chunk of the start getting you used to the controls and the setting.
• Some dodgy looking animations in the manual control sections, as well as some not-quite-believable animations during cut-scenes.
• Low-res world textures diminish the overall visuals.
• Some of the actors aren't American, and you can tell. Not all of they're voices sound completely American, especially Ethan's and Norman's.

My score

9.4/10

Aliens vs Predator review – 6.8.0/10

Aliens vs Predator– PC, PS3 & Xbox 360.
Rating – 16+, T.

I don’t normally review, or play for that matter, games based on films. Or watch films based on games, or whatever. But when I saw a trailer for the then-upcoming AvP game I was intrigued, and after playing the multiplayer demo I was hooked. So I watched the two AvP movies and then jumped straight into the full version of this game.

The game is divided into three separate campaigns; Alien, Predator & Marine. I’ll review each campaign’s positive and negative points individually, starting with the Alien.

If you’ve ever played a Spider-Man game then you’ll feel right at home with the Alien – moving really fast and being able to crawl on almost any surface. The core gameplay is based around stealth. The Alien may be tough but it won’t survive a few shots from a pulse rifle or shotgun. So you’ll find yourself sticking to shadows, crawling on walls & ceilings and attacking enemies from behind with some extremely satisfyingly gruesome stealth kills. You control the Alien in the First Person view, which takes some getting used to. Crawling on walls in First Person can get a little confusing, disorientating and frustrating at times, especially when you’re trying to run away from some Marines armed to the teeth with laser-sighted M41As and grenades. But the overall experience is fun and quite unique. The Alien has two attacks; a light attack and a heavy attack. Which merely consist of a quick jab from it’s claws and an even harder jab from it’s claws/tail.

With the Predator, you have much more attacks at your disposal. You have your basic light and heavy melee attacks like the Alien, a pulse cannon mounted on your shoulder, proxy mines, a spear for long ranged attacks and a metal buzzsaw that acts like a boomerang. So yeah, a lot more firepower. The game runs on the same basic principles as the Alien campaign – stealth. In order to stay alive, the vast majority of your kills should be made from afar. But that shouldn’t stop you from trying to make all of your kills up close. Because it’s fun and rather challenging as the Predator is slightly underpowered at close range. You also have the ability to cloak yourself so that you cannot be seen as easily. Killing Marines as a Predator is incredibly satisfying. For example you can jump on one from above Assassin’s Creed-style, stick your claws through their back and rip their spine out with their head still attached.

Finally, the Marine. There isn’t really much to say about this campaign really. Except that it’s your basic First Person Shooter. You can use pulse rifles, shotguns, pistols, sniper rifles, grenades and your own bare hands. The gameplay works well, but I couldn’t help but notice that certain features that you’d expect to see in your average FPS were absent. For example, the ability to crouch or lean around corners.

Now for the negative stuff. All three of the campaigns are very short (five missions for the Alien & Predator, six missions for the Marine) and kind of leave you feeling like you’ve been cheated. Especially the Alien campaign. You fight a ton of Marines but only get to fight three Predators right at the end. That’s right, only three. In fact the other two campaigns are kind of odd too; you only fight one Predator as a Marine and you fight a fuck load of Marines as an Alien and a Predator. That may sound like the Predator has the best campaign, and for overall entertainment, it does. But both the Alien and Predator suffer the same problem: the melee attacks just feel like pure button-mashing and the animations that go with them don’t always fit or look right. The AI for the Marines when you’re playing as an Alien/Predator isn’t that great either. On many occasions I have snuck up next to a Marine (making quite a lot of noise and in broad daylight) and been completely ignored. They just walked right past me, giving me an easy stealth kill.

Graphically, the game looks rather good at times. There’s some impressive particle, dust and lighting effects to be found as well as some very good character models. But most of the time you’ll be looking at bland and somewhat boring, colours, textures and level design. You’ll be forever crawling through air ducts as an Alien and looking for switches and buttons as a Predator and Marine, which gets a bit tedious after a while. It would have been nice to explore the Predator’s ship as an Alien/Marine, but unfortunately you’re just confined to jungles, the Predator’s pyramid and some dark & dingy buildings.

Predominantly, Aliens vs Predator is a good game. A very good game in fact if you can look past all the poor design choices, sloppy textures, clunky melee attacks and repetitive animations. Maybe if Rebellion had used Unreal Engine 3, which Sega is using for their next title “Aliens: Colonial Marines“, instead of an engine that was responsible for some not-so-great titles, the end product would have been better.

The Good

- The Aliens & Predators look and sound exactly like they should. All the detail and sound effects from the movies are in there and they work brilliantly.

- Being attacked in a narrow corridor by a group of Aliens or suddenly being shot at by a distant, cloaked Predator really puts you in the shoes of the Marine. Playing as an Alien/Predator feels a little detached but the Marine feels like a more complete game.

- Really, really fun multiplayer. If you didn’t like the three campaigns then you might like the somewhat old school multiplayer. Imagine Doom 3 meets Unreal Tournament.

The Bad

- Bland and boring textures, silly level design and clumsy melee attacks really diminish the game’s overall experience.

- The three campaigns are meant to follow the same path, and they do, to a certain extent. But they don’t really intertwine all that well, creating a rather confusing storyline for those who haven’t seen the two movies. Hell, I was a bit confused and I have seen the two movies.

- The dodgy AI (walking too slowly, ignoring you, getting temporarily stuck on random objects), not-so-great lip-sync and slightly unbelievable animations make you wonder just how much time Rebellion actually put into this game.

My Score
I really wanted to give this at least a 7.0, but it just doesn’t quite cut it. It’s close, but not close enough – 6.8/10

The Saboteur review – 6.5/10

The Saboteur – PC, PS3, Xbox 360
Rating – 17+, M

I know what you’re thinking – “Not another WWII game!” But you can rest assured that The Saboteur is actually pretty far from a WWII game. Yes, it’s set in WWII. But it isn’t necessarily about WWII.

Anyway, lets get started. The Saboteur is a third person action-adventure sandbox game developed by Pandemic Studios. Unfortunately this is the last we’ll ever see of Pandemic after all its staff were let off by EA, no doubt due to the Credit Crunch (still sounds like a breakfast cereal to me).

You take control of Sean Devlin, an Irish Grand Prix motor racing driver in Nazi-occupied France, 1940. After one of the higher ranking Nazis murders your best friend you spend the game hunting down the killer whilst destroying everything that bears a Swastika as you go. It’s your typical revenge story, really.

The game’s graphics are adequate, not that amazing but they get the job done. I’d say around the same as inFamous’ graphics. But there is something that the game does visually that is rarely ever seen in video games. All the areas of France that are controlled by the Nazis are portrayed in black & white with all the Nazi stuff remaining in colour (ala-Sin City or classic film noir). It looks great and really makes the game stand out from the crowd.

Gameplay-wise, The Saboteur is barrel of laughs. And I don’t mean that sarcastically, it really is. You run around France planting dynamite on Nazi watchtowers, vehicles & buildings, steal Nazi uniforms and shoot Nazis with a variety of guns. So if you hate Nazis, this is the game for you. Think of it this way: Imagine if Grand Theft Auto and Assassin’s Creed had a baby. The driving in The Saboteur is pretty much GTA and the climbing is AC or inFamous if you will. Forget Prototype, this is the game that should be compared to inFamous!

So the game has a unique visual style, decent sound, fun gameplay, an interesting-ish storyline and not so bad graphics. Where can it go wrong? Several places actually…

I mentioned that the sound is decent. Well what stopped it from being good was the God-awful voice acting. Sean’s Irish accent is so broad that it’s laughable half the time, and he swears like a trooper. But it’s not just Sean’s accent that’s overexaggerated. Almost the entire cast is chock-full of stereotypes ranging from French to German and Italian to British. Every single character seems fully aware that they are a stereotype and they never try to dial it down, not even a little bit. One guy even said, “I’m French, I’m supposed to be rude!”

And of course what game isn’t complete without glitches and frustration? The climbing in The Saboteur just feels like Pandemic tried to steal the idea from Sucker Punch Productions (inFamous) but were caught halfway through and had to make do with what they’d got. Instead of climbing up a building, Sean seems to just leap randomly at foot/handholds like a deranged gibbon and when you fall or drop from a building he flaps his arms about like a vivacious drunk. And the stealth elements; involving disguising yourself as a Nazi, sneaking into their base and blowing it up, isn’t nearly as profound as say Hitman or Metal Gear Solid. If you are spotted you only get a few seconds to take down whoever saw you before they blow a whistle alerting everyone else to your presence. And even if you manage to do that, somebody else standing 10 feet away from you can just blow their whistle instead forcing you either to run 20 miles away to escape and try again or just shoot everything in sight in order to survive and get the job done. Expect several missions where this sort of thing becomes rather frequent.

As a final product from Pandemic, The Saboteur is a good accomplishment. It’s fun (to a certain extent), nice to look at and the cast provide many witty one-liners to keep you laughing for a few good seconds. But that’s it. Kind of reminds me Mercenaries and Destroy All Humans!. Just your run-of-the-mill sandbox game with a few unique twists but not enough turns, leaving it twisting into an endless spiral of repetition.

The Good.

- The black & white areas of France look fantastic and add an extra layer of depth and immersion to the player.
- A suitable soundtrack, holding several well-known songs from the era. Including the classic, “Feeling Good” by Nina Simone.
- You get to shoot, blow up and play fisticuffs with Nazis. What more could you ask for?

The Bad.

- Not so great voice acting, terrible stereotypes.
- Weak stealth elements provide frustration.
- Some dodgy animations when climbing buildings, jumping, sneaking…
- Feels as though EA were left to finish off the story and make the final tweaks after firing Pandemic at the last minute. Not a bold choice if you ask me.

My Score.

6.5/10.

2010 – A small review of things at the end of the year

Greetings!

‘Tis 2010. I’ve had my 18th birthday and I have more money than I’ve ever had in my life ever. Now I’m free to do whatever I want! All that remains is obtaining the ability to travel in time and then dominate the world by brutally murdering everyone thus turning them into ghosts.

Lets talk films that recently came out:

Avatar – Very pretty. But having all the money in the world (James Cameron) doesn’t make up for the lack of original material and solid plotline. I saw it in 3D and I have to say it was the best 3D I’ve ever seen, even if most of the film did look better with the glasses off.

Sherlock Holmes – I’ll alternate from good and bad: Great fun, slightly flawed storytelling, brilliant acting from Robert Downey Jr, and then Jude Law. A mixed bag then.

Celebrity deaths (that I actually care about):

David Carradine (December 8th, 1936 – June 3rd, 2009) (aged 72)
Michael Jackson (August 29th, 1958 – June 25rd, 2009) (aged 50)
As previously mentioned, James Owen Sullivan  (February 9rd, 1981 – December 28th, 2009) (aged 28)

Games:

Assassin’s Creed II – I won’t be reviewing this, somehow I feel as though I wouldn’t enjoy writing it. But I will score it = 7.0/10
The Saboteur – Looks fun. Haven’t played a proper sandbox game since GTA IV. I may review it, right before I review Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell: Conviction.

Blimey, are those the only games at the end of 2009?

That’s it. Now where did I leave those nuclear missiles?…

Paranormal Activity – Review

Over the last couple of years, not that many horror films have really grasped the media as being that scary. But now, according to the Americans, we have a film that is “truly terrifying”. But is it? The short answer – No. The long answer – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*SPOILERS* The film is about two people, Katie and Micah, who live in a house which is haunted by a demonic presence which is after Katie. It’s shot using a camcorder (a rather big one actually), much like [REC], Cloverfield and The Blair Witch Project. Unfortunately it doesn’t have quite the same amount of impact as any of them, except for Blair Witch. There aren’t any clever camera angles, next to zero special effects and the film is just too long seeing as barely anything happens.

Lets start off with the acting. Erm, well, it’s bad. The two characters just aren’t that convincing, as human beings or as a couple. The only times that they are convincing is when they’re both running around and screaming. But anyone can do that. They’re overall performances are adequate at best.

Then there’s the story. Some sort of ghost or demon has been following Katie wherever she goes since the age of 8. Whispering her name, making strange sounds, messing with objects in the house, etc. Your typical ghost, really. Her and her boyfriend Micah decide to film themselves while they sleep, hoping to capture anything on tape.
Do they? Not really. They’re bedroom door moves by itself a little bit, there’s footsteps on the stairs but we don’t actually see anything, lights get turned on and off, the bedsheets get blown about by what is clearly just a hidden portable fan and the bedroom door slams shut a few times. Does that sound like one of the “scariest movies of all time“? I thought not. Only when Katie was dragged out of bed by the demon was I slightly scared, even if I was laughing throughout the entire scene. *END OF SPOILERS*

The only paranormal activity here, is the fact that people were genuinely terrified by this. Watch the official trailer, you’ll see Americans jumping out of their seats, covering their eyes, screaming out loud. Over what exactly?

With a bigger budget, this could have been something so much more…

Left 4 Dead 2 review – 9.0

Left 4 Dead 2 – PC, Xbox 360

Rating – 17+, M

Just one year after the first Left 4 Dead, what some people class as “too soon”, we have Left 4 Dead 2. The second zombie apocalypse simulator from Valve. You play as one of four resistance fighters who must shoot, slice, decapitate and blast their way to safety.

Here’s a message to all the people who boycotted L4D2 – Stop whining, it’s better than the L4D1 in almost every way. The graphics have been bumped up immensely; giving you elegant and vibrant daytime environments (which were completely absent in L4D1 as the entire game took place at night), there’s a hell of a lot more gore, new special infected and of course melee weapons. Instead of just shooting zombies you can now bludgeon and dismember them with axes, machetes, frying pans, guitars, baseball and cricket bats, crowbars, batons, katanas and… chainsaws. *Insert massive homicidal smiley here*

There are also some new modes called Realism and Scavenge. In Realism mode, the survivors play through the campaign with all the coloured lines that highlight supplies, weapons and other survivors removed and all the infected are harder to kill. As if you thought the Expert difficulty couldn’t get anymore… difficult. Scavenge mode has survivors try to fill up a car or a generator with gas whilst fighting off the infected, and it’s the infected’s job to stop them from doing so. The Survival mode from the first game’s DLC is also in there as part of the full game.

Still not convinced it’s better than L4D1? Well like I said earlier, the whole of L4D1 took place at night. But not only that, the environments weren’t all that exciting. You were mainly just running through buildings with the occasional street or rooftop. In L4D2 you get to play through a swamp, an abandoned carnival (complete with a rollercoaster), a parish, a sugar mill (with thunder storms) and a hotel… which is on fire. Each campaign is longer than the ones found in L4D1 as well. Valve really went all out on this one.

The survivors that you help through these environments are also a lot more characterised this time around. I instantly knew that I would like them all when they introduced themselves to each other on the first level. And when I say “all”, I mean ALL. No cocky office workers to be found here.

Shooting zombies is a lot of fun, as you’d expect. And Valve have done a fantastic job of capturing the essence of a zombie apocalypse. If you’ve seen any zombies movies such as Dawn Of The Dead or 28 Days Later, then you’re going to feel right at home. Everything down to how the zombies walk, run, groan and die is absolutely spot on.

I can’t really think of anything bad to say about Left 4 Dead 2 apart from little nitpicks. It’s a sequel that hits all the right notes, bringing a new and exciting experience than the first and is a ton of fun. But if you didn’t like the first game, then I’m afraid you won’t like this one. Seriously though, who didn’t like Left 4 Dead 1?

The Good.
- Tearing up zombies with melee weapons leaving their blood and guts all over the ground is so damn satisfying.
- Better characterised survivors.
- New special infected, new weapons and bigger and longer environments.
- New modes add to replayability.

The Bad.

- The gameplay is almost exactly the same as L4D1.
- I miss Zoey.

My Score.

9.7/10