PlayStation Move

I consider myself a fairly hardcore Sony fan. I’ve owned every gaming platform they’ve ever released and have been nothing but impressed by their efforts.

But now, they appear to be merely copying Nintendo. With the recent announcement of PlayStation Move, I’m baffled as to how they are getting away with it. Watch the launch trailer for it and tell me that it isn’t a clone of the Wii…

What’s that I hear you say? “It looks exactly like the Wii”? I thought so too.

To make matters worse, Sony are copying the Wii and they know it. They seem somewhat proud of themselves, thinking that they’re improving the Wii. Last time I checked, “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig”.

And providing the icing for this harebrained confectionery, is Kevin Butler.

I have now totally lost my faith in Sony.

And what a douche – “Real boxers don’t hit like this” *mocks Wii Boxing* – Surely Nintendo could sue him for that.
“PlayStation Move is not only crazy precise (a semantically null sentence), it’s also got what we in the future all buttons which turn out to be pretty important to those ???-millions of people who enjoy playing shooters, platformers or… well, anything that doesn’t involve catching a big red ball so… I mean, c’mon, who wants to pretend their hand is a gun? What is this? 3rd grade?” – Not only can he barely string a correct sentence together, but openly mocking the Wii like that is just childish and unprofessional.

I don’t know who to turn to now. Sony’s always been my favourite of the big 3 companies, but now they’ve turned into Nintendo. And Microsoft are doing that exact same thing only they’re using full body control so they can get away with it more easily. C’mon, Nintendo got into the whole motion controller thing first and they did it well. There’s no need to copy it and make it “better”.

I won’t be surprised if Nintendo files a massive lawsuit against both Sony and Microsoft for stealing their idea, causing both companies to loose huge amounts of money and forcing them to concentrate on the other big new trend. That’s right, 3D. God help us all.

Motion controllers

Every year the 3 major games console developers Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo compete to make something new and engaging for their consumers. A new genre of game for instance, an online marketplace/store, TV streaming, avatars, each one more bizarre and outright pointless than the last.

But one thing that really gets on my nerves is motion controllers. Nintendo was the first to release such a thing to the public back in November 2006 with their ridiculously-named “Wii”, on which they’ve released countless Mario and Zelda remakes. Then in June 2009 Microsoft announced they were also jumping on the bandwagon with their even more ridiculously-named “Project Natal”, going the whole hog with full body control.

I will admit that both of these ideas are interesting and bring something new to how we play games, but they’re also completely obsolete to the hardcore, even the casual gamer. And they might as well forget about people that don’t play games, except maybe your grandmother who likes to play a little Wii Tennis at Christmas.
Hardcore gamers are simply not interested in moving while playing games. They’re lazy, probably obese couch potatoes with very little knowledge of the word “exercise”. The idea of moving their arms around to aim a gun is baffling to them and just far too much effort. And remember all those reports of people injuring themselves while using the Wiimote? Dislocated shoulders from swinging it to hard while playing baseball, hitting ceiling lights and people in the face while playing tennis, controllers being flung into TV screens while playing bowling with the wrist strap unfastened, the list is endless. If they thought those incidents were bad, Natal is literally going to murder them.
I suppose the casual gamer may be slightly interested in this idea, but due to the word “casual” it’s not enough to turn them into a full-time gamer. I mean, the idea of pretending to hold and fire a gun when there’s already a gun being held and fired just a few feet in front of you is ludicrous.

Finally, Sony are the last to join the club with a currently unnamed motion controller (possible called “Gem”). A poor decision if you ask me, I was rather hoping Sony were smarter than that, would remain unique and invent some kind of brain-wave controller. But alas, it wasn’t to be. And this “Gem” thing just looks like a rip-off of the Wiimote, which is rather disappointing. Of all people, I didn’t expect Sony to come up with shittiest idea.

Here’s something I found on YouTube, Left 4 Dead 2 using motion control:

I know, right? The motion detection is unresponsive and you look like a total burk when using it. If this technology makes it to production, gamers everywhere are going to develop arthritis far too early in life. That goes for all motion control technology; Wii, Natal & SIXAXIS/”Gem”. All 3 developers need to pack it in and get back to making quality games again.

What’s the next big innovation? Ah yes, 3D. It’s already in our cinemas, so it’s only a matter of time until we’re playing games in 3D. As if I thought there wasn’t anything more pointless than motion control…

TCP vs UDP

Transmission Control Protocol vs User Datagram Protocol, console-wise.

Xbox’s use UDP, which basically throws data packets at the CPU, doesn’t care if it catches them and only sends them once. Whereas a PS3 and a Wii use TCP, which catches every data packet and lets the computer know that it’s caught it.

I was taught this in college so don’t start flaming me if I’m wrong/inaccurate. It’s just a little something that I found interesting, perhaps Microsoft should consider TCP if it’s so much more reliable and efficient than UDP.

So if you’re playing a game on an Xbox (or PC) and you experience lag (especially online), you’re no doubt using UDP.

Klonoa: Door to Phantomile

Not a lot of people remember him but back in 1997; a 2.5D platformer developed by Namco was released on the Sony PlayStation, that went by the name of Klonoa.

“Who is Klonoa?”, you may ask. Klonoa is a small cat-like creature with very large ears who lives in a fantasy land called Phantomile. In this mystical land, the whole place is fuelled by the very dreams people have at night. As a result, no one can clearly remember the dreams they had, even if they occurred recently. But Klonoa dreams one night that a mysterious aircraft crashes into a nearby mountain, and can remember every detail of it. He also finds a ring that possesses magical powers, and holds another small creature called Huepow who lives in the ring. But not all is as it seems, the two of them must investigate the crash and eventually save Phantomile from total annihilation.

This isn’t a review as such, just a look back at the past. I love Klonoa. I love his charm, everything down to how he runs and that adorable little “Wahoo!” that he does whenever he jumps really high. I love his quirkiness and the fact that Door To Phantomile is such a great game. Even if you don’t like platformers, you will thoroughly enjoy it.

Along with Crash Bandicoot, Klonoa is one of my all-time favourite video game characters. Unfortunately under-used and practically forgotten in today’s society, but I think that’s what makes me love him more – Not everyone knows about him, and I do.

The basic gameplay mechanics consist of grabbing enemies with your ring (which fires “wind bullets”, go figure…) and then either throwing them at other enemies, breakable objects or throwing them downwards to propel yourself upwards to reach high areas. This can be useful to collect jewels that are scattered throughout the land and can be used to solve simple, and as you progress further into the game, very complicated puzzles. I have yet to see another platforming game do this, that isn’t a Klonoa game.

Finding a legitimate copy of this game is extremely difficult nowadays. Even if you do find one, you can bet that it’ll cost around $60-$100. There is a Wii version that came out recently, which updates the graphics a little. But it doesn’t beat the originality of the PS1′s, clearly dated, but still impressive visuals.

If you own a copy of the PS1 original, well done you. What you have there is an extremely rare PS1 gem. I own a copy that’s in relatively mint condition (I say “relatively”, I was 5 when I got it), and you can still smell the ink on the pages of the instruction manual. It’s a pity it’s not compatible with DualShock though.

05/08/09

In the news today…

Is too much realism in video games a bad thing?

Here’s a quote from a James Portnow from The Escapist Magazine:

“Low points can be roughly sorted into two categories: the genuinely un-fun and the unsatisfying. Genuinely un-fun experiences are the purview of reality and have no place in games. For example, talk to any World War II veteran that served in the infantry, and they’ll tell you all about the marching. They spent 90 percent of their time walking to places and 10 percent fighting, and yet, for all the World War II games I’ve played, none of them includes a single march.“

Well of course games don’t include marching you douche bag, that would be boring! Some people play games so they can do things that they couldn’t normally do in real life. If they wanted to march then they’d join the Gay Pride or something!

“If the German government continues to seek a ban on violent games, Crysis developer Crytek will take its ball and go home”, says CEO Cevat Yerli.

Makes no difference to me, or anyone for that matter. Crytek can just relocate to one of their other branches.
And personally I think it’s partly, if not completely, Germany’s fault for people wanting video games that contain guns and killing people. Remember when they knocked on Poland’s front door and asked for a cup of sugar and then punched them in the face?

Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare is coming to the Nintendo Wii.

No doubt just another half-arsed Nintendo port of an otherwise decent FPS. Stick to your Mario games kids, this one isn’t going to interest you at all.

The Sims 3 is doing well, in fact it’s sold 3.7 million copies.

I don’t really care for The Sims anymore, nor do I have anything to say on this story. I just found it impressive that it’s sold so many copies in such a short time. Well done EA. And those are 3 words that I never thought I’d say in the same sentence.

04/08/09

I’ll try and post a few news articles every day, here’s this blog’s first one.

A 16-year-old Chinese boy was beaten to death during treatment at a camp supposedly designed to help cure youth of their addiction to the Internet.

My God, the Chinese really are a bunch of sadistic twats aren’t they?

A college student in the U.S. is looking at a possible ten-year prison sentence after being arrested for the dastardly crime of modding game consoles.

Madness. Yes, modding games consoles is wrong. But 10 years in prison is madness. Sheer madness.

Karen Dyer, the actress who played Sheva Alomar in Capcom’s “Resident Evil 5″, has released a calender of herself dressed as Sheva in response to fan requests.

Utterly pointless if you ask me, she doesn’t even look like Sheva judging from this picture. Next all the other actors from the game will be releasing calenders, even the Majini.

A 38-year-old Japanese man has been sentenced to 2.5 years in prison and fined $96,000 for hosting illegally downloadable DS games on a website.

First off, who would want to do that? DS games are cheap anyway; and I don’t think people who own a DS are clever enough to download games illegally, are they?

British newspaper the Daily Telegraph predicts that the rumoured ‘slim’ version of the PlayStation 3 will retail for £260.

If it does retail at that price, I won’t be getting one. Because what’s the point? It costs far too much, it no doubt won’t have the same backwards capabilities as the 60GB model and who cares if it’s smaller? It’s still the same bloody console.