The inevitable E3 post

Okay, I was trying desperately not to mention E3. But I have to. Mainly – PlayStation Move and Project Natal, no known as “Kinect”.

We’ll start off with Kinect:

Not only can Microsoft not spell, but they’re basically designing a bastardisation of the Nintendo Wii. The advert is even filmed exactly the same way.

However, Sony aren’t much better. In fact, they’re even worse (for once). Now I’ve already made my opinion of PlayStation Move abundantly clear, so I shall comment on a recent hands-on preview from IGN with SOCOM 4:

Either the controls suck or Greg Miller isn’t that good (I’m hoping it’s the latter). This game doesn’t look very engaging Move-wise. It seems that you just stand there and wave the controllers around like you do on the Wii. SOCOM 4 appears to be nothing more than a 3D rail shooter and Sony should be ashamed of themselves. Although I suppose it is something that they tried to incorporate their motion controls into a proper game, not some juvenile, incorrigible reject from Nintendo’s drawing boards.

See, I’m not always bashing the 360. (grow up)

Thank God Microsoft ditched that ridiculous name though. (okay, so I’m a hypocrite! Flame me!)

Crytek: Crysis 2 Runs Better on PS3

But of course it does. The PS3 is far more powerful than the Xbox 360 and even most standard PCs. What I’m talking about is that the video game company Crytek have reported that their upcoming game Crysis 2 runs better on the PS3 than the Xbox 360. Many developers have found the PS3′s hardware difficult to work with and were not able to deliver with as much quality as the 360. e.g. F.E.A.R., Bayonetta and just about every port made by EA Games. Read my post about console ports for more details.

Crytek are joining the console generation fairly late and are therefore more capable of developing a good game by learning from other developers’ mistakes. But they aren’t the first developer to do that. Do the words “Naughty Dog” and “Uncharted” ring any bells? They completely blew every other developer and game out of the water with Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, and even more-so with Uncharted 2: Among Thieves. So I guess this is a sign of things to come – developers are slowly getting better. And with Blu-Ray movies coming down in price, this is a very good time to be glad, proud and excited that you own a PS3.

PlayStation Move

I consider myself a fairly hardcore Sony fan. I’ve owned every gaming platform they’ve ever released and have been nothing but impressed by their efforts.

But now, they appear to be merely copying Nintendo. With the recent announcement of PlayStation Move, I’m baffled as to how they are getting away with it. Watch the launch trailer for it and tell me that it isn’t a clone of the Wii…

What’s that I hear you say? “It looks exactly like the Wii”? I thought so too.

To make matters worse, Sony are copying the Wii and they know it. They seem somewhat proud of themselves, thinking that they’re improving the Wii. Last time I checked, “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig”.

And providing the icing for this harebrained confectionery, is Kevin Butler.

I have now totally lost my faith in Sony.

And what a douche – “Real boxers don’t hit like this” *mocks Wii Boxing* – Surely Nintendo could sue him for that.
“PlayStation Move is not only crazy precise (a semantically null sentence), it’s also got what we in the future all buttons which turn out to be pretty important to those ???-millions of people who enjoy playing shooters, platformers or… well, anything that doesn’t involve catching a big red ball so… I mean, c’mon, who wants to pretend their hand is a gun? What is this? 3rd grade?” – Not only can he barely string a correct sentence together, but openly mocking the Wii like that is just childish and unprofessional.

I don’t know who to turn to now. Sony’s always been my favourite of the big 3 companies, but now they’ve turned into Nintendo. And Microsoft are doing that exact same thing only they’re using full body control so they can get away with it more easily. C’mon, Nintendo got into the whole motion controller thing first and they did it well. There’s no need to copy it and make it “better”.

I won’t be surprised if Nintendo files a massive lawsuit against both Sony and Microsoft for stealing their idea, causing both companies to loose huge amounts of money and forcing them to concentrate on the other big new trend. That’s right, 3D. God help us all.

Klonoa: Door to Phantomile

Not a lot of people remember him but back in 1997; a 2.5D platformer developed by Namco was released on the Sony PlayStation, that went by the name of Klonoa.

“Who is Klonoa?”, you may ask. Klonoa is a small cat-like creature with very large ears who lives in a fantasy land called Phantomile. In this mystical land, the whole place is fuelled by the very dreams people have at night. As a result, no one can clearly remember the dreams they had, even if they occurred recently. But Klonoa dreams one night that a mysterious aircraft crashes into a nearby mountain, and can remember every detail of it. He also finds a ring that possesses magical powers, and holds another small creature called Huepow who lives in the ring. But not all is as it seems, the two of them must investigate the crash and eventually save Phantomile from total annihilation.

This isn’t a review as such, just a look back at the past. I love Klonoa. I love his charm, everything down to how he runs and that adorable little “Wahoo!” that he does whenever he jumps really high. I love his quirkiness and the fact that Door To Phantomile is such a great game. Even if you don’t like platformers, you will thoroughly enjoy it.

Along with Crash Bandicoot, Klonoa is one of my all-time favourite video game characters. Unfortunately under-used and practically forgotten in today’s society, but I think that’s what makes me love him more – Not everyone knows about him, and I do.

The basic gameplay mechanics consist of grabbing enemies with your ring (which fires “wind bullets”, go figure…) and then either throwing them at other enemies, breakable objects or throwing them downwards to propel yourself upwards to reach high areas. This can be useful to collect jewels that are scattered throughout the land and can be used to solve simple, and as you progress further into the game, very complicated puzzles. I have yet to see another platforming game do this, that isn’t a Klonoa game.

Finding a legitimate copy of this game is extremely difficult nowadays. Even if you do find one, you can bet that it’ll cost around $60-$100. There is a Wii version that came out recently, which updates the graphics a little. But it doesn’t beat the originality of the PS1′s, clearly dated, but still impressive visuals.

If you own a copy of the PS1 original, well done you. What you have there is an extremely rare PS1 gem. I own a copy that’s in relatively mint condition (I say “relatively”, I was 5 when I got it), and you can still smell the ink on the pages of the instruction manual. It’s a pity it’s not compatible with DualShock though.

My first love

What with the release of Naughty Dog’s next instalment in the Uncharted franchise, I started thinking about their/my very first game.

Crash Bandicoot on PSone

Oh Crash, how I miss you these days…

It was at someone’s house I didn’t know that well and they asked me if I wanted a go. Of course, I said yes. From that moment on I knew I was going to love gaming. When I eventually got my own PSone and a copy of Crash Bandicoot 3: Warped (a few years down the line), I got stuck on a level and had to get my brother to help me; it was the one moment in my life that brother and sister united to help each other. What games can do, aye? After that, me and games just clicked.

Now at that time the graphics were incredible, but it was the gameplay that got me. You got to help Crash through his many adventures and control his every move. What more could you want?

I’ve tried games like Pac-Man World, Mario and several other platforming games, but Crash is a game you can never relieve through another title. It was love at first sight, and, although I’ve moved on, there’s always going to be a place in my gaming heart for him.

PS3 may be getting cross-game voice chat

Some rather stupid person over at Naughty Dog let slip on their forums that the next PS3 firmware update would include the ability to have cross-game voice chat, which basically means you’ll be able to chat with people over a headset regardless of what game you’re playing.

Here’s what the ND employee posted:

“I think they wanted people to have fun and ejoy [sic] the show since all dead players can talk to each other no matter what team you are on. But I will suggest it anyway. Not to mention that the next PS3 firmware update is going to allow cross game chat. So if players use that instead of in game communication then they would also be able to communicate enemies [sic] positions.”

The post was immediately removed, which either means that the employee was telling the truth and ND didn’t want anyone to know, or the employee was talking complete BS.

If this turns out to be true, it’s about bloody time Sony! Now all you need to give us is a better in-game messaging system and a better/in-game web browser.

Listen up Xbox 360 fanboys!

You cannot argue with the power of Blu-Ray. PS3 owners can hold 25GB of data for a game whereas 360 owners only get 12GB. This means the PS3 has better looking games, bigger games and better games overall. You can’t deny it, Uncharted and Metal Gear Solid 4 would have to be put onto about 20 discs for it to play on the 360. And even then it wouldn’t look as good as it does on the PS3 – The graphics would have to be drastically toned down so that the 360 wouldn’t go into cardiac arrest.

6/8/09

Not a lot’s happened today, yet. The only things worth mentioning are that Blizzard Entertainment have delayed Starcraft II to 2010, (Boo. Hoo.) and that Sony has filed a trademark for something called “PlayStation Thanks”. Some kind of rewards program for the PS3 – it’s about time those trophies you’ve been earning are actually worth something!

On a slightly more personal note, and this might interest you too, a demo for Batman: Arkham Asylum is being released tomorrow for the PC, PS3, and Xbox 360. Kind of late, but at least we’ll be able to play it a few weeks before it comes out, which is the 28th – I’ve pre-ordered my copy.

UPDATE: Just checked the PlayStation Store, the demo is available now even though it was supposed to be released tomorrow. The lying bastards! I can’t see it on the US or Japanese store, but it’s on the UK store. (Y)