As a British citizen (a proper one, not an immigrant with a British passport), I suppose I’m going to have to state my views on the General Election. So here goes:
Gordon Brown (right, pink tie): Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, and he’s already proven that he can’t do that job properly. So why would I want to vote for him? It’d be like the Americans electing George W. Bush twice. Do we really want a paunchy, cantankerous half-unperceiving Scot running our country?
David Cameron (middle, blue tie): What a bone-idle cretin. He airbrushes his posters more than Hello! magazine airbrushes Paris Hilton and merely reverses everything Gordon Brown says or does. Plus, he has a face like a smacked arse you can’t trust anyone who’s middle name is Donald.
Nick Clegg (left, yellow… gold… what is that?… tie): I am incredibly bemused that people think this slimy two-faced salesman could run a bus let alone a country. He refuses to meet with Foreign Leaders, abstains from political polls, is practically invisible within Parliament and never seems to shut up about being from Sheffield.
As you have probably already guessed, I will not be voting in the General Election. Why? Because it won’t make any difference if I did. My opinion, and noone else’s, matters to these people. They’ll no doubt rig the vote and none of the candidates will follow through with their policies anyway.
To be quite honest with you, I’m finding that story about the Wii Balance Board turning a woman into a sex addict more interesting.
Yes, I may have just turned 18. But I still love snow, there’s nothing wrong with that.
